4 Questions That Could Save Your Next Relationship

by Julia Austin⁽⁴⁸⁾
The Breakup Expert

I know the last thing you want to think about when a relationship ends is…that relationship. Generally, people try to do whatever they can to forget about a breakup until they feel healed enough to date someone new.

But, you might find yourself in the same position again (broken up) if you don't stop and analyze your last relationship(s). Here are some questions to get you on the right track:

Who changed? Think back to the beginning of the relationship when the two of you couldn't get enough of one another. How did you treat one another? Were you happy in your life as an individual? If you really think about the details, you'll most likely discover that either yourself or your partner--if not each of you--changed. You stopped treating each other the same way, or circumstances in you lives changed that made your moods change. If you're the one who changed, that's good to be aware of because you don't want that to happen again.

Why did that change occur? If it was your partner who changed, there was little you could do about that. But if it was you, find out why. Did your career become more demanding and make it difficult for you to spend time with your partner? Or you just took your stress out on him? Did a tragedy take place in your life that lead to depression? Or, did you maybe start going after some of your dreams, and didn't feel you could relate to your partner anymore?

Why did I like this person? Consider the traits you enjoyed in the person—the traits that you recognize made them a good partner. Perhaps it was their patience in sticky situations, their ability to talk to you about emotional subjects, their ambition. Find out what made it work and seek those qualities out in the next person.

Why didn't I like this person? Hey-they're out of your life now. Now you can be real. What did you find unattractive about this person? What was it about them that made life more difficult? Did they not support your passions? Maybe they thought it was dumb you wanted to take singing lessons at your age. Maybe they didn't understand why you were quitting your mediocre job and trying to start your own business as a voice coach. Whether it was as small as them not supporting you wanting to become a better singer or as big as them not backing you up on your career choices, think about how this person hindered your happiness.

Vera Esther writes about topics in luxury lifestyle, relationships and travel. Her pieces can be found on various sites with unique titles such as "How to tell if your date is a sex addict" and "A Los Angeles voice coach on your laptop."

Article submitted Friday, February 03, 2012 & read 18 times.

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