Should An Unhealthy Relationship Be Saved?

by Kelly Bowman⁽²⁾

Everybody faces relationship problems. The key, of course, is to work together to find a mutually acceptable solution to those problems. But when a solution appears to be unattainable, it may be time to re-examine your troubled relationship. Could it be the relationship has evolved into an unhealthy relationship? And if so, can you make it work?

First, let's take a look at 7 warning signs that can lead to unhealthy relationships.

1. The Absence of Commitment

Commitment is about sharing time with our partner – and enjoying it. A void of commitment begins when a couple does not make time for one another. This includes not only eliminating the time to have fun together, but also by avoiding the need to communicate with each other, to share each other's frustrations, and to join as one to heal potential relationship problems. When the eagerness to support each other - to be with each other – disappears, the relationship is clearly developing into an unhealthy relationship.

2. Lingering Resentment

Relationship problems usually grow from past disputes that should have been forgiven. Resentment closes the door on forgiveness and opens the likelihood of regret. Eventually resentment can become so overwhelming that it controls the relationship, invading all communication, and intensifying anger and resentment.

3. Bitterness

Profound bitterness takes over when mutual respect dies. The bitterness of an unhealthy relationship swamps genuine affection replacing it with mutual hostility. In the end bitterness thrives entirely on name calling, accusation, and animosity.

4. Secrets and Deception

A relationship based on secrets and deception is destined to fail. Secrets are the opposite of truth. Lies become more intricate with time, eventually destroying the relationship.

5. The Need For Absolute Control

Control can take on many forms. A partner who is possessed with winning all disagreements at the expense of the relationship is controlling. Furthermore, a partner who pressures the other to reject all other friendships and contacts is manipulating social pressure. Some partners focus all attentions on the other partner. Others control by trying to change their partner to suit their own taste. The end results are no different - the creation of an unhealthy relationship stripping away the dignity to express genuine feeling and emotion.

6. Searching for Individuality Exclusively Through the Relationship
A relationship is no stronger than the individuality of each partner. We must identify our own strengths and limitations, sharing each to the benefit of the other. A lasting relationship requires that we must survive both individually and together. To search for all strength from a partner places an insurmountable burden on a healthy relationship and sets the stage for an unhealthy relationship.

7. The Destructiveness of Insecurity
Insecurity is a warning sign of a void of trust – trust in ourselves and trust in our partner. In a relationship void of trust, a couple is left with the emptiness of insecurity, doubt, and fear.

Be honest with yourself. If your relationship is unhealthy, it may be time to let go. Accept that a relationship breakup is inevitable. A truly unhealthy relationship should not be saved.

Article submitted Thursday, August 18, 2011 & read 96 times.

Having faced and survived hardships and adversities of her own, Kelly Bowman has since devoted years of her life to learning how best to help others with similar challenges. From a relationship breakup to emotional pain, cast aside the emotions that defeat. Join Kelly on a journey of strength away from relationship breakup and loneliness to acceptance and companionship.

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» left by Alexander Thoreau from Manchester NH (242 days 10 hours ago.)

I agree with you 100%. I can never understand why anyone would want to save an unhealthy relationship. People imagine that they are in love even if their partner is a nasty piece of work.

Maybe it has to do with not having the confidence to move on.
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