How to Prevent My Wife From Cheating Again

by Kelly Schow⁽²⁴⁾

Are you sick with worry that your spouse or partner will cheat again? Are you constantly watching their every move for any signs of cheating? After all, they look like they’re doing all the right things but they fooled you once before….

Don’t worry, you’re not alone.

I’m sure you’re anxious to forgive your spouse or partner and go back to the way things used to be and you probably want to make your relationship stronger than it was.

So how do you do this if you’re not 100% certain they won’t do it again? How do you progress and move forward knowing the possibility exists that it could happen again?

This is a common emotional struggle that many people have, especially when trust has been broken.

There is no way to guarantee that your spouse or partner won’t cheat again, however there are some things they can do to make it much less likely that they will cheat again. Only when your spouse or partner changes their character and no longer wants to be that person from the past will you see a breakthrough in the relationship.

But as promised, I will help you identify the 4 signs that your spouse is cheating, or likely to do it again.

Remember these are just indicators and not guarantees, but they will give you an idea of what’s really going on.

Listening and Engaging
Complete and Full Apology
Open and Transparent
Nature of the Offense

1. Listening and Engaging

The best way to gauge whether or not you’re your partner or spouse is likely to cheat again comes from their willingness to listen to your feelings and pain while at the same time being active in conversing about the affair.

Your spouse or partner should have no problem listening to you no matter how often you express you feelings about the affair. This step is critical in the initial stages after an affair has been discovered.

Your partner should listen attentively to you while you express your feelings about the relationship, and in return they should be actively sharing their feelings too. When your partner or spouse shares their feelings, especially if they are the one who cheated, it shows that they are willing to change their character and turn from their old lifestyle.

Also, if your partner or spouse has difficulty expressing their feelings, like most men do, look to see if they are actively listening to you. If they are, take this as a good sign that they want to commit to you.

2. Full Apology

The second sign to look for from your partner or spouse is the apology. Have they given you one yet? Was it heartfelt and sincere? If you haven’t gotten one yet that’s not a good sign. It shows that your spouse or partner is not truly contrite for their actions.

A simple “I’m sorry” just once from your partner or spouse won’t cut it. Watch for hostility during the apology. They can’t expect to just say it once and have everything be alright, your trust has been betrayed and they need to work for your approval.

A full and real apology is made up of several things:

Understanding and identifying your pain
Owning the mistake and accepting the consequences
Soul searching
Vocal commitment to the relationship and fidelity

Just be aware that if your spouse or partner’s apology doesn’t have any of those aspects to it, it might not be a full apology. This doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll cheat again, but it also does nothing to rebuild trust.

3. Open and Transparent

Is your partner or spouse acting defensively every time you want to talk about the affair? Are they being closed off instead of open and transparent?

The more open and transparent the cheater is about the situation the more likely they are to want to change their behavior and attitude.

It’s their responsibility to become transparent and open with you during the communication process after the affair. If they’re not then watch out.

If instead of being open and honest, they are secretive and defensive there might be something else going on. This can happen for a few reasons.

For some they feel as thought they’re being treated as a child, having to check in with you for everything they do. What they’ don’t realize is that being truly intimate with your spouse or partner means having a constant free flow of information back and forth.

As the cheater, you show respect and caring for your spouse when you inform them of your plans, after all you did break their trust.

So if you see that your spouse or partner is being more transparent with you this means they are trying to re-establish that emotional connection to you which is the fundamental building block of trust. As the transparency continues, reduce the number of times they need to “check in” with you. You’ll find that as you show increased trust in them, they’ll trust you more too.

4. Nature of the Offense

It’s vitally important to rebuilding your relationship that you factor in the nature of what went on.

Was the incident a one time thing, or did it happen many times over a period of time. A person who has cheated multiple times is more likely to do it again than someone who had done it just once.

Even though you can’t prevent cheating from ever happening again if you read and follow the 4 outlined signs of cheating above you’ll significantly increase your chances of it never happening again without destroying trust.

I know how hard it can be to try and put the pieces of your shattered life back together after an affair, but, it’s quite possible to prevent your wife from cheating again.

In fact over 50% of people who have been cheated on and 65% of cheaters want to try and restore their relationship back to the way it was before the affair.

I will show you how to agree on new boundaries that will help you both feel safe and secure without feeling trapped, imprisoned or micromanaged.

These methods are easy to understand but they will take a little practice and patience, you can read how to do it in my free report here: How to Survive an Affair.

Don’t give up hope, it’s NOT impossible. Prevent Your Wife From Cheating again by clicking the link.

Article submitted Saturday, April 30, 2011 & read 156 times.

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