Ahhh, Social Networking. Online Dating. Personal Ads
by Lark WilsonFool Tools for Online NOT Dating
I’ve recently discovered several great management tools for those involved in this process.
First, it doesn’t matter how clearly you state your character, some just don’t believe you.
Next, because they apparently didn’t believe you, your thought at the second meeting is “what part of NO don’t you understand?”
You like to give everything your best effort. So, you have a third meeting (you obviously need to amend that behavior).
Some do not understand the commitment a Christian makes – or believes it only works on Sundays. Statements like:
I ONLY want to be FRIENDS.
I DO NOT want to be “Friends with Benefits” (I am not an employer and I don’t see the benefit of being anything MORE than friends).
I am NOT a LTR candidate (Long Term Relationship); I do not want to get married. I don’t want to have sex with anyone. I just want to be FRIENDS having FUN. (Ok, wrong thing to say to some…)
So, the ten top Fool Tools I’ve discovered since “I’m a Christian” “No” and “I don’t do that” doesn’t seem to sink in:
10. I already have six kids, I do not want to be your baby’s new mama (for those looking for a bed and bottle warmer).
9. I can only think about being an LTR if you are willing to be EXCLUSIVE and COMMITTED to me and see no one else…{stated on the third meeting} (THAT usually raises eyebrows and eyeballs!).
8. Before we can consider a relationship, we have to work side by side to see how much we make each other mad and how it gets handled. I have fencing that needs fixed and trees that need cut down. When do you want to start?
7. I can not consider having more than a “FRIEND” relationship for at least a year.
6. I do not make more than $XX,XXX a year.
5. I think it’s only fair that if we are going to enter into a physical relationship that we meet each other’s friends and family.
4. You have to go to the doctor and provide proof on physician letterhead that you have no sexually transmitted diseases.
3. Our next date should be to Celebrate Recovery where I attend group.
2. I need to compare notes with your former partner so I know what you are really like.
AND the Number 1 “Fool Tool” to having a non-physical, probably non-existent relationship is…
I will [have a physical relationship with you] after you have attended my church and met with my pastor.
If they say YES to all the above, you still win in the long run. You have a
FFL (Friend for Life)!
Article submitted Monday, January 18, 2010 & read 128 times.
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» left by Michelle Mackin(51) (233 days 16 hours ago.)
That is too funny and true. I met my husband at a Celebrate Recovery meeting and now he is a pastor. By the way I told him when we were dating that if he wanted some of this, he would have to marry me. He obviously did and is a friend for life.Blessings,Michelle
» left by Carol Allen Anfinsen(12) (228 days 14 hours ago.)
Loved your article! My husband and I met at a Christian singles group in MN called at the time, "Equally Yoked Christian Singles." Before I meet him, I experienced many of the scenarios in your article. Great stuff!
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