Top Five Ways To Solve Kids Lying Problem

by Alice Owen⁽¹⁾

Kids lying is a frequent problem. Yet it has to be taken seriously in order to make it stop. As with others kids behavior problems, the most important thing is to understand what causes such behavior. Also, we as parents should never forget that our kids are kids and they therefore don't lie the way we do. Kids lying imitate a lot but don't have the same intentions as we do. If I'm talking about imitation first it's to remind you (and myself!) that your behavior is taken as a role model by your child and that's why it's so important to watch our words and behavior with our children.

But kids lying don't always imitate their parents or brothers and sisters. The cause can be different. Before I tell you about the 5 ways to solve this problem, I want you to be aware of the major difference between a child who lies to hide something he did wrong and a child who lies when he makes up stories to draw attention.

Here are the top 5 ways to solve kids lying problem:

1. Stop asking what you already know . Saying "Did you do this?" when you know he did is just giving him a chance to lie. Just say what you know very clearly. You know the truth, tell the truth and punish what has to be punished. Playing with that truth can only bring confusion.

2. Don't be angry, don't yell at your kid when you catch him lying or discover he lied. Your anger is the very reason why your kid is lying, what he wants to avoid by all means. Reacting with anger can only push him to keep lying. So keep your voice low and ask why he lied. He needs your help getting rid of this behavior.

3. If your child is making up stories and have a lot of imagination, don't try to make him stop. His imagination is a very good thing. Still, you need to teach him the difference between what is real and what is pretended. You can set aside times for imaginary play to make him stop telling lies when he's not playing.

4. Always insist on what honesty and truth can bring (trust, independence,) and what lies bring too (no punishment until the truth is found and eventually more privileges taken away as the truth is always found).

5. When your child tells a lie, give him a chance to reconsider his answer and to take 5 seconds before answering. Give him that chance to stop his habit with no consequences for him if he says the truth right after. Reward his efforts toward being truthful.

Kids lying is not easy to handle especially when it had become a habit in your child or teen. Such a behavior sometimes hides another problem such as low self-esteem. Every problem has to be taken seriously to prevent it to become much harder to solve. But there's hope because you can easily learn how to communicate better with your child. There's a helpful and friendly website I know and recommend called www.YourParentingHelp.com which had been created by a group of parents who tested and selected different parenting programs. Their reviews make very clear how each program can help you. Kids lying is one of the many situations covered by these programs. I'm a mom, not a therapist and I can say it really did help me and I'm glad to share this resource with you!

Article submitted Monday, November 23, 2009 & read 121 times.

Leave your comments through Blogz:

» left by Marijo Phelps (2 years 179 days ago.)

Some really good ideas Alice! thanks for sharing this with your readers. Marijo (Mary Jo)
Respond to this comment

» left by Alice Owen⁽¹⁾ (2 years 178 days ago.)

You're welcome ! I'm glad it can help !

And thanks for posting a comment, it's encouraging ! :)
Respond to this comment

» left by Anonymous (2 years 174 days ago.)

Why shouldn't you ask "Did you do this?" Yes, it is giving the child a chance to lie but it is also giving them a chance to tell the truth. I asked my 16yr old son if he was smoking. He said no. I said "you smell like smoke". He said that he was around other kids who were smoking. I let him know that his breath smelled like smoke. Only then did he admit to smoking.
Respond to this comment

» left by Alice Owen⁽¹⁾ (2 years 168 days ago.)

Well the only thing I can say is that your child said the truth only confronted to it. Asking the question only made him lie but the exact truth about his breath smelling like smoke made him say the truth. Going straight to the truth is always the best option in my opinion. And I think your comment only proves it.

Let me know what you think and thank you for commenting my article ! :)
Respond to this comment

25-0-0-0-2-ADSO

Most Recent