Casual Sex, It's All in the Toys!

Living in a time that offers technology beyond our wildest dreams, and sex toys that never fail to meet our expectations of erotic pleasure, I must ask, why would any woman even consider the idea of casual sex? Why go through the trouble of meeting a man for a drink, making small talk that will never lead to anywhere except to one or the other’s bedroom?

As you engage in your “good time” it is quite likely that your mind will drift to many other places that have nothing to do with the moment at hand. You may be thinking about when your mortgage payment is due or a project that needs to be finished at work. Most of all, you will be wishing that instead of getting in the car to meet the man that is now on top of you that you had simply gone straight to Priscilla’s to buy a new sex toy.

As you are fantasizing about which sex toy you would have bought, he is making his moves.  He stimulates you here, there and everywhere except the places that send you to the moon. Because this is “casual” sex, a women often does not get so intimate as to share what it is that really does it for her. That is where she draws the line.  Most women are too afraid of incoveniencing the man with what she may need to make the experience pleasureable for her. 

The man is interested in pleasing the woman but often if it is not too much trouble. You may request a certain maneuver, pressure of touch, speed etc but that is only acceptable frequently if it fits  in with the man’s existing repertoire of tricks. If you ask for too much, essentially you are sending the message that the man is a terrible lover. If you don’t ask for anything then he will wonder if you are faking your enjoyment which you likely will be. Like the 3 bears, you have to get it, “just right”.

How can a girl possibly focus on her own pleasure when she has to be so concerned about the ego, not to mention the pleasure of the other? It is really her pleasure that the two should be focused on since she has the more complicated situation of the two. 

Women, who are often "pleasers" are known for putting the pleasure of men during sex  before their own.  This is where nature is a bit unfair and woman need to watch out for themselves. If a lady does not watch out for herself she cannot count on the man to do so.  Lets face it, there is a reason they call this "casual" sex.  In this arena, it is necessary that each party go after what they hope to get out of the experience.

After the man has satisfied the woman's need for foreplay or at least thinks he has, it is now time to “come together”.  When this does not happen and it is only he that has landed on the moon, you again think of the sex toys at Priscilla's.  As he basks in the afterglow  of his experience, you find yourself basking in frustration.  Now you want and need that trip to the moon like never before. 

There you lie, next to him, just wanting and waiting for him to leave.  You don’t even care that he gives you a peck on the cheek and tells you, “oh my god” its 7pm, I should have been at work an hour ago”. You know that he never works on Sunday and that his hours have been 9a-5p, Mon-Fri. Given that it is all “casual”, you know not ask why and thank goodness you really don’t care.

Real sexual enjoyment is for those people that venture beyond “casual” into a world of true intimacy. In this world people are comfortable to share what they like and need sexually because they know that the other genuinely cares and wants to meet that need the best way that they can. Both people are out for each other and for themselves. There are no repertoires, tricks or shows. Ego does not have a place in this world.

In this world of intimacy there might actually be “love” and deep caring for another. If a person has ever experienced the world of true intimacy, they would be hard pressed to go for “casual sex”. To do that would be like becoming a freshman in college after you have already graduated. You just can’t go back. To try to do so would leave one wrought with disappointment and feelings of longing for the days gone by.

People are all different and expectations of a casual sex experience differ among people. Some women are more orgasmic than others and may find that the casual sex experience works out for them since they do not come with a long set of instructions. In that case, the warm, hard body may just win out over Priscilla’s, provided that the woman is also able to separate her feelings from the experience. Men are known for being able to do this quite well. In fact many take pride in their ability to “compartmentalize”. Personally, I’ll take the sex toys until the “real thing” comes along. If the “real thing” doesn’t happen then I suppose I will just have to put my faith and trust in technology. Keep them sex toys commin!